Why do spouses fight?

Is there any family at all where the spouses don't fight? I have not seen or heard one! Interestingly you might have also observed that closer the spouses get, more the fight becomes. Spirituality uncovers a well kept secret that clearly explains the whole phenomenon!

We might have seen when a boy and a girl remain lovers, the fights are a little lesser than when they get married. What is essentially the difference? It is the distance!!! Love brings people together and does not like distance. But the moment they come together the element of respect starts decreasing. And the ego in the person gets hurt because of this and it rebels against the person and thereafter the fight starts. It is always the game of distance and respect. When there is  distance, respect is there, but love diminishes. When distance is reduced respect reduces and fight begins. This phenomenon was very well known in ancient India which is the very reason in India during the month of July the wife goes to her mother's home leaving the husband. This increases the distance and there is a depth of respect and longing that develops. They start exchanging letters. Sweet love flowers once again between them. It is always the longing that keeps the love alive. The moment longing stops, love also stops almost immediately.

Also His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar often gives valuable advise to a wife and a husband which has been so handy to several people. First advise is for the Husbands. He says it is so important that a husband be sensitive to the wife's emotion. For example a wife may be telling something bad about her brother or father or any relative of hers. But the moment husband joins hands, almost immediately the wife will switch sides! So never talk bad about her relatives. Also women are interested in visiting temples, performing some religious ceremonies. Never stop then from doing that! And if they go out for shopping, simply give your credit card to her, no questions to be asked! And here comes the advise for the wives! Never step on the Husband's ego! Keep pumping his ego. Even if the whole world says he is mindless and useless, a wife should never say so. She can say you have a great intellect, just because you don't use it does not make you brainless! Jokes apart, this is so much scientifically true. Normally women are predominantly right brained and that allows them to be more artistic and emotionally vulnerable whereas men are predominantly left brained and hence logic dominates with more sense of ego and taking pride in achievements.

But divine love has no such distinction of gender. It is something totally unconditional and very much above all the other forms of love put together - love between spouses, love for siblings, etc. When somebody experiences the divine love even for a few moments, understanding of the phenomenon described above is almost automatic and all other forms of love is sustained without any problems. Because in divine love there is both love and respect at the same time. However you go closer to the divine or a Guru, love and respect never diminishes and they only keep increasing day by day. At the same time longing is always there which sweetens the love for the divine. The sanskrit word "Radha" means longing and it is always referred to along with "Krishna which is pure love. Radha and Krishna can never be separated.

Being with a Guru and continuing with the practices learnt from the Guru and walking the path of the Guru enables one to be always soaked in the divine love. Then all the little fights between spouses are nothing to be worried about. In fact it's occurrences becomes quite infrequent and you start enjoying event moment together!!!